Summer movie franchise reviews: Star Wars

Saving the best for last, I top off my review of Summer movie franchises with the ‘Star Wars’ saga. There are several camps in the ‘Star wars’ fan community (Of which I am a certified member of). Original trilogy fans... Prequel trilogy fans... Love them all or leave it fans. I’m in the original trilogy fans group. I wanted to love the prequels, but ultimately didn’t (No, George Lucas didn’t ruin my childhood :p). Anyway, I endeavored to give the prequel films an honest shake and I believe that I have.

* Note 1 * - My reviews of the “classic” Star Wars saga are based on the “original” versions, not the “Special editions”. I prefer my Sy Snoodles with visible strings and a tiny, barely articulated mouth... sue me!

* Note 2 * - Nothing stirs the pot like a review, especially when it comes to ‘fan boy’ (And girl) type of films. Remember, it’s just one (Studly, smart, handsome, sexy, brilliant, super-duper macho) man’s opinion. Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know! (Not about me being studly, as that is beyond debate).

THE STAR WARS SAGA

Star Wars Episode I: The phantom menace (1999) – 3.5/10

Perhaps the most anticipated movie of all time and unfortunately a complete turkey. Star Wars in name only, ‘Menace’ is plagued by bad acting, an even worse script and an over reliance on computer generated F/X. If the saga had been filmed in order, it’s doubtful it would have gotten beyond this point.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002) – 5.5/10

Prequel round two is a noticeable improvement over Episode I, but still suffers from bouts of what I call ‘Prequelitis’ (Some stiff performances, too much CGI). The drama is hit or miss (With the romantic aspects representing most of the misses) but the action is full throttle and entertaining. Special F/X have a video game-like quality at times, but overall it hits the mark enough times to satisfy.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005) – 7/10

Third time’s a charm for Lucas’ prequel trilogy, as ‘Sith’ is more or less the kind of movie that fans wanted all along. The performances are very good (Especially Ewan McGregor), the special F/X truly special and the story by and large satisfyingly told. It’s not without a few cringe-worthy moments, and it never quite reaches the level of the original trilogy, but ‘Sith’ manages to send the saga out in style.

Star Wars Episode IV: A new hope (1977) – 10/10

Before it changed cinema, became a toy or a of catch phrase, the original ‘Star Wars’ was just a movie... a great movie. I wonder sometimes if the movie has gotten buried under all it’s since become; Under the hype and the endless analysis. That would be a shame, because the first ‘Star Wars’ was, is and will always be the single best example of cinematic magic at it’s finest.

(Note – A new hope is #2 on my all-time favorite movies list)

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire strikes back (1980) – 10/10

‘Empire’ is a cinematic masterpiece. Not simply content to recycle the feel good original, it expands it’s predecessor’s deceptively simplistic scope into a grand spectacle of space opera. ‘Empire’ is deeper, darker and more artistic than ‘New hope’ yet is never looses it’s sense of genuine wonder. This all leads to it’s tragic and shocking final act, which demands that for the first time viewer the saga must be watched in the order of it’s original release.

(Note – The Empire strikes back is #1 on my all-time favorite movies list)

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) – 8.5/10

Not as fun as ‘A new hope’ nor as sophisticated and dark as ‘Empire’, ‘Jedi’ tries (Unevenly at times) to be an amalgam of both. Still, the film’s few misfires (Ewoks, the over use of Muppets and aliens in general) are not enough to drag down the triumphant final chapter of the Star Wars saga.

The bottom line: ‘Pirates’ are okay... ‘Neo’ and ‘Frodo’ too, but ‘Star Wars’ is forever.

Coming next... back to project rewind with the movie ‘Double Dragon’

The 30th anniversary of Star Wars

30 years ago, in a cinema far, far away....

May 25th marked the 30th anniversary of the release of the original ‘Star Wars’ (Now ‘Star Wars Episode IV: A new hope’). I had just turned three, and thus literally can’t remember a world without Star Wars in it.

Unless you were alive (and especially a kid) during the original Star Wars era (1977-1983) it’s really not possible to imagine just how omnipresent it was. Star Wars was everywhere... I mean everywhere. I slept on Star Wars sheets, ate from Star wars plates, carried my lunch in a Star Wars lunchbox and did my homework in a Star Wars notebook... All that only to return home to play with my Star Wars toys. I think Star Wars will ultimately come to define my generation, much the way the Beetles define my parent’s.

Today, Star Wars remains as popular as ever. A new generation has embraced the original trilogy as well as the prequel trilogy, which they no doubt claim as their own. With two new television shows on the horizon and new books, video games and toys hitting shelves every month, Star Wars shows no signs of slowing down.

To be honest, I was not a fan of the prequels, but that’s not important. The original Star Wars trilogy means as much to me today as it did 30 years ago and the prequels undoubtedly have inspired a new generation of kids who will in turn share all of the films with their kids some day.

So to George Lucas, for a lifetime of imagination, let me just simply and sincerely say, thank you.

May the Force be with you!

Over the coming days I’ll be posting my Summer franchise review of the Star Wars saga and a another post on my favorite Star Wars related memories.

Summer movie franchise reviews: The Karate Kid

Up next in my review of Summer movie franchises is the ‘Karate Kid’ trilogy... Yep, I said trilogy. I went back and forth on the idea of including ‘The Next Karate Kid’, but decided to leave it out on principle. Needless to say, I don’t like it.

As for the actual trilogy, I also must confess that I am biased when it comes to these movies. It is hard to defend both the artistic merit and necessity of the third ‘Karate Kid’, yet I have to be true to my self and write how I really feel, thus it’s (relatively) high rating.

* Note * - Nothing stirs the pot like a review, especially when it comes to ‘fan boy’ (And girl) type of films. Remember, it’s just one (Studly, smart, handsome, sexy, brilliant, super-duper macho) man’s opinion. Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know! (Not about me being studly, as that is beyond debate).

THE KARATE KID TRILOGY

The Karate Kid (1984) – 10/10

Often imitated, but never duplicated. The ultimate underdog movie is much deeper than the pop culture references it’s now known for. The entire film is basically a two hour set-up for the final minute, and when the hero wins the day, it’s like exhaling after a long breath. The chemistry between Morita and Macchio is once in a lifetime stuff. A classic.

The Karate Kid II (1986) – 8.5/10

‘Karate Kid II’ is that rare sequel which actually feels like an organic extension of the story rather than a cash grab. The real surprise here is that the story actually revolves around Mr. Miyagi, with Daniel along for the ride. The exotic locales, themes of forbidden love and life or death consequences make ‘The Karate Kid II’ more than just a paint by numbers sequel, but a worthy film in it’s own right.

The Karate Kid III (1989) – 7/10

If the ‘Karate kid’ saga has taught us one thing, it’s that no matter where he goes, people just want to kick Daniel LaRusso’s ass (And in ‘The Karate Kid III’ there’s more of Daniel’s ass to kick, thanks to his slowing metabolism due to the onset of middle age) . At this stage it’s hard to defend the ‘Necessity’ of another ‘Karate Kid’ movie, but none the less you have to judge a film on it’s own merits. Simultaneously darker and campier than it’s predecessors, ‘Karate Kid III’ is the least emotionally engaging film in the trilogy as it rehashes elements of the first film into a story of revenge and redemption. Still, the chemistry remains and we get a couple of new scene chewing villains to spice things up. Preposterous, but entertaining and ultimately satisfying.

The bottom line: Though believability starts to wave ‘Bye bye’ after the first film, the trilogy still holds up as worthy saga that should continue to win over generations of new fans.

Coming next... The ‘Star Wars’ saga!

Summer movie franchise reviews: Indiana Jones

Up next in my review of Summer movie franchises is the ‘Indiana Jones trilogy’. Next year, Indy returns in his long (long, long, long) awaited fourth adventure. Rumors that Lucas and Spielberg will be calling it ‘Geriatric Jones and the last toupee’ are completely unfounded.

* Note * - Nothing stirs the pot like a review, especially when it comes to ‘fan boy’ (And girl) type of films. Remember, it’s just one (Studly, smart, handsome, sexy, brilliant, super-duper macho) man’s opinion. Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know! (Not about me being studly, as that is beyond debate).

THE INDIANA JONES TRILOGY

Raiders of the lost Ark (1981) – 10/10

In my opinion, ‘Raiders’ is the definitive action/adventure film of all time. Every element, from story, to cast to score are so perfect, that they spoil you for life. Watching it, one can’t help but ask aloud “Why can’t Hollywood make more films like this?”. Simply put, ‘Raiders’ is what going to the movies is all about.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of doom (1984) – 6/10

While certainly not a bad film, ‘Temple’ represents a pronounced step back from the perfection of ‘Raiders’. The film trades thrills for scares and Nazis for Indian cultists as Indy, his kid sidekick and Spielberg’s future wife search for a powerful stone. The creepy-crawly stuff is heaped on a bit too thick, and Kate Capshaw’s prissy character frays the nerves but ‘Temple’ still strings together enough genuine thrills to rate a cut above average.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) – 9.5/10

Indy gets back on track and back to what he does best... Racing against Nazi’s in pursuit of powerful, biblical artifacts. ‘Crusade’ jettisons the dark tone of ‘Temple’ and returns to the spirit of fun and adventure established in ‘Raiders’. From the opening prologue showing a young Indy in action, to the pitch perfect casting of Sean Connery as Indy’s father, ‘Crusade’ hits all the right notes.

The bottom line: Beloved film series and deservedly so. Even the missteps in ‘Temple of doom’ represent a giant leap above most of what passes for action/adventure these days. A timeless classic.

Up next... The Karate Kid trilogy.

Summer movie franchise reviews: Superman

The next summer franchise I take a look at is ‘Superman’. Like the ‘Batman’ franchise, it has had it’s share of highs and lows. With four different directors, and two completely different casts spread out over almost thirty years, it goes without saying that the ‘Superman’ saga is impossible to judge as a whole (Unlike, say, ‘Spider-Man’ and ‘Star Wars’) but rather must be judged on a case by case basis.


* Note * - Nothing stirs the pot like a review, especially when it comes to ‘fan boy (And girl)’ type of films. Remember, it’s just one (Studly, smart, handsome, sexy, brilliant, super-duper macho) man’s opinion. Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know! (Not about me being studly, as that is beyond debate).

THE SUPERMAN SAGA

Superman (1978) – 8.5/10

The Granddaddy of the modern comic book film. The one to which everything is owed, and to which all subsequent films are compared. Nearly thirty years later, the original ‘Superman’ looks and feels antiquated in some superficial respects. The clothes, the technology and the special F/X are all dead giveaways of it’s time and place. Standing the test of time, however, is the film’s unpretentious sense of wonder. Character defining performances by Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and especially Christopher Reeve along with one of the grandest movie themes in history make this film a special, and timeless classic.

Superman II (1980) – 8/10

In some ways, ‘Superman II’ is actually superior to it’s predecessor. This is (mostly) because Superman finally has a villain who can stand boot to boot with him... actually, make that boot to boots, as he squares off against three Kryptonian Super villains (Teased at the beginning of the first ‘Superman’ film). Most people are aware of ‘Superman II’s’ production problems, and that may very well account for the unevenness of the plodding second act. It’s the finale, however, that lifts ‘Superman II’ to classic status as Superman and the Krypto’s have a knock down, drag out fight in the streets of Metropolis before heading off to Superman’s Fortress of solitude for the clever and satisfying finale.

* Note * - There is a so-called “Donner cut” of Superman II available on DVD that is different enough from the theatrical release to be considered separately, but for the purposes of this review I focused on the original and “Canonical” theatrical version

Superman III (1983) – 4/10

No two words typify the shift in the tone of the series better than these: Richard Pryor. ‘Superman’ III jettisons any attempt at substance in favor of a lot of cheap laughs and even cheaper thrills. The result feels, you guessed it, cheap. Some credit must be given for attempting something new (No Lex Luthor, no Lois Lane melodrama, and Clark’s prodigal return to Smallville) but it’s not enough to lift this often dull and clumsy effort.

Superman IV: The quest for peace (1987) – 2.5/10

Before there was ‘Batman and Robin’ there was ‘Superman IV: The quest for peace’. Lambasted by virtually every fan boy and critic alike, ‘Superman IV’ was a rather pathetic (And temporary) end to 'Superman' saga. As the title indicates, the plot involves Superman’s quest for “peace”. How? By riding the world of all nuclear weapons. Feel that morally equivalent finger poking you in the chest? Still, it’s not quite as heavy handed as the title and premise suggest. What really does ‘Superman IV’ in is that it was done on the cheap, having become the property of 80’s schlock producers Golan/Globas. With it’s cut rate F/X and juvenile storytelling, it feels every inch like the cash grab that it was. In spite of all this, Christopher Reeve never mails it in, delivering his usual classy performance as the ‘Man of Steel’. Alas, even 'Superman' can't save this movie from the forces of cheapness.

Superman returns (2006) – 5.5/10

The undisputed king of Superheroes is brought back after a nearly 20 year absence from the big screen. Keeping 'Superman 1&2' as canon and wisely jettisoning the rest, ‘Returns’ is a reverent take (Sometimes too much so) on Richard Donner’s version of the Man of steel. Brandon Routh does his best Christopher Reeve impression in the dual role of Clark Kent/Superman and Kevin Spacey makes for a more dangerous Lex Luthor than we’ve seen before but the rest of the cast is forgettable and in some cases regrettable. The real problem isn’t the lack of freshness but a boring script, which makes a disastrous attempt to get in touch with the inner turmoil of Superman. John Williams’ magical theme is the only thing that lifts the spirit. I found ‘Returns’ to be too long, often tedious and ultimately anti-climactic. A total letdown.

The bottom line: Classics, turkeys and everything in between, the ‘Superman’ saga runs the gamut but non the less still stands tall in the pantheon of movie franchises.

Next up, I switch gears a little and dig my way through 'The Indiana Jones saga'...

Summer movie franchise reviews: Spider-Man

In part two of my reviews of Summer movie franchises (For the 'Batman' franchise and a full explanation, please see part 1) I take a look at the Spider-Man trilogy, which has become without question the most popular and successful comic book franchise of all time... but is it the best?

*Note* - Nothing stirs the pot like a review, especially when it comes to fan boy (and girl) films. Remember, it's just one (Studly, smart, handsome, sexy, brilliant, super-duper macho) man's opinion. Disagree? Leave me a comment and let me know! (Not about me being studly, as that is beyond debate)

THE SPIDER-MAN SAGA

Spider-Man (2002) – 7.5/10

Underneath all the F/X wizardry, Spider-Man is a surprisingly old fashioned, golly-gee-whiz type of movie. Director Sam Raimi makes no attempt to give Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Tobey McGuire) a “Hip” edge. No piercings. No tats. No ‘tude. He’s just a sensitive nerd who gets good grades, is respectful to his elders, pines for the girl-next-door and strives to do the right thing. The movie is really quite character-centric, trying to get us to care about the guy inside the costume, and it works. What doesn’t work as well is the Green Goblin, played with scene chewing zest by Willam Defoe. The armored ‘Goblin’ costume makes him look like (As one review put it) “a deranged Power Ranger” and the final confrontation between he and Spider-Man is a little weak. Overall Spider-Man is a sweet, satisfying movie, but not quite a classic.

Spider-Man 2 (2004) – 7.5/10

Like it’s predecessor, Spider-Man 2 often works better as a character study than an action movie. This time around, Peter Parker becomes overwhelmed by the responsibility of being Spider-Man and the toll it takes on his personal life and decides to give up his web slinging alter ego. It's a gutsy call by Sam Raimi to essentially abandon his title character for basically the entire second act, but the payoff is big since by the time the third act begins, we're rooting for our hero to find his way. Unfortunately, another weak villain portrayal (In the form of 'Doctor Octopus') and another disappointing climax mar this otherwise well crafted effort.

Spider-Man 3 (2007) – 7/10

At times Spider-Man 3 feels like a twelve ounce movie trying to hold twenty four ounces of story. Not content with just cramming in three villains, the third chapter also heaps on a love triangle, a revenge plot and an emotional crises for our hero. As Aunt May would say “You’re not, Superman you know”. Unfortunately all of these elements bog down the story at times, as Sam Raimi tries to tie together all the loose ends in what may be his (and the cast’s) final go-round with Spider-Man. (Not an uncommon problem, as the final installment of both ‘Star Wars’ trilogies and ‘Return of the King’, the third ‘Lord of the Rings’ film, all had similar issues) That aside, Spider-Man 3 is still comparable, both good and bad, with the other two films in the saga and a solid bookend to this successful trilogy.

The bottom line: There's no denying the popularity of the Spidey saga, and many consider Spider-Man 2 to be the best 'Comic book' movie of all time. I guess I'm in the minority on this. Though I do like the movies, I think that they veer too often between frivolity (Violin playing street performer playing the old Spider-Man cartoon theme) and melodrama (Peter's love life) to rank with 'Batman begins' (My personal fave).

Coming up next... Superman!

Summer movie franchise reviews: Batman

Well, another Summer movie season is finally upon us. No more “message” films or other cinematic turds flung our way. It’s blockbuster time, baby! Spider-Man 3 kicked off a pretty decent slate of “genre” movies that includes ‘Pirates of the Carribean 3’ (AKA ‘At world’s end’), ‘Fantastic four 2’ (AKA ‘Rise of the Silver surfer’) and ‘Transformers’ (AKA ‘I hope Michael Bay doesn’t screw this up’).

To celebrate this, I’m going to do a series of posts reviewing Summer movie ‘Franchises’. They’re what I call ‘One paragraph reviews’ (Short and sweet, like a dwarf covered in sugar). For instance, in today’s post I review the ‘Batman’ saga. I use a 1-10 scale, allowing .5’s for even more flexibility.

* Note * - Nothing stirs the pot like a review, especially when it comes to ‘fan boy (And girl)’ type of films. Remember, it’s just one (Studly, smart, handsome, sexy, brilliant, super-duper macho) man’s opinion. Disagree? Leave a comment and let me know! (Not about me being studly, as that is beyond debate).

THE BATMAN SAGA

Batman (1989) – 8.5/10

While not reverent enough to it’s source material to please hard core fans, if taken on it’s own merits Tim Burton’s ‘Batman’ is a fantastic film. Imaginative designs and a wonderful score by composer Danny Elfman give it an epic, operatic feel sadly missing in today’s cheap-thrills genre movies. Michael Keaton gives a surprisingly layered performance as Bruce Wayne/Batman and Jack Nicholson is brilliant as Batman’s arch-nemesis, The Joker.

Batman returns (1992) – 6/10

Here began the unfortunate trend of multiple villains that ultimately helped to doom the franchise. Batman becomes a supporting player to Dan DeVito’s annoying Penguin and Michelle Phifer’s sexy, scene-stealing Catwoman. Another problem is that the entire movie appears to have been filmed indoors, giving it both a phony and claustrophobic feel. The final showdown is a preposterous anti-climax that sinks the whole affair for good.

Batman forever (1995) – 4.5/10

‘Forever’ is more generically entertaining than the gothic and morose ‘Returns’, but more absurd and less artful by far. New director Joel Schumacher creates Gotham as acid flashback and turns up the ham-o-meter to 10. Jim Carey is entertaining, if over the top, as ‘The Riddler’ but Tommy Lee Jones is god awful as ‘Two face’. Val Kilmer takes over for Keaton and sleep walks his way to a fat paycheck, as Batman is again overshadowed by the villains. Chris O’Donnell is okay as ‘Robin’, Nicole Kidman looks beautiful but try’s to hard with her breathy performance as Batman’s love interest, stuff goes BOOM! and the whole thing moves through your system as fast as Chinese food and with the same end result.

Batman and Robin (1997) – 1/10

The movie that accomplished what no villain ever could... it killed Batman. The cinematic equivalent of poop flung against a wall, ‘Batman and Robin’ is a horrible misfire on every level. George Clooney appears bored and embarrassed as he takes over the role of the Dark Knight, while Alicia Silverstone gives one of film’s all-time cringe-inducing performances as the unnecessary ‘Batgirl’. Arnold Schwarzenegger is abysmal and miscast as ‘Mr. Freeze’ and even Uma Thurman can’t rise above the material in her under-developed role as ‘Poison Ivy’. One of the worst big budget (or any budget) films of all time.

Batman begins (2005) – 10/10

Having reached ground zero with 'Batman & Robin', Warner Brothers put Batman back in his cave until the time was right. What a difference a decade makes. 'Begins' is a serious, and dare I say artful, take on the Batman legend. Instead of hiring trippy "Visionaries" like Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher, WB went with a filmmaker who had the ability to tell a story, Chris Nolan. Teamed with an expert in the genre, co-writer David Goyer, Nolan avoids the pitfalls of comic book neophyte Ang Lee's disappointing 'Hulk'. ‘Begins’ is a complete re-boot of the franchise, intelligently and expertly constructing the character of Bruce Wayne before he dons the familiar cape and cowl. Christian Bale (Bruce Wayne/Batman) heads a stellar cast in this genre re-defining film. (* Note * - ‘Batman begins’ is currently #5 on my all-time favorite movies list).

The bottom line: Franchise veers wildly between artful, wacky and just plain awful. With the release of 'begins', Batman's cinematic legacy is still being written.

Still to come, more Super-heroism as I swing with the ‘Spider-Man’ franchise, I tug on ‘Superman(‘s)’ cape and I mutate with the ‘X-Men’... Plus, I’ll dig through the ‘Indiana Jones’ trilogy (Soon to be a quadilogy or something like that), I’ll kick it with ‘The Karate kid(s)’ and of course get Forceful with my personal favorite, the ‘Star Wars’ septilogy (Or something like that)... And more!

TV shows to movies part 2: Knight rider

In part two of my series “TV shows to movies”, I take a look at a possible Knight rider movie. It’s an idea that’s been kicking around for several years now, with Ben Affleck featuring most prominently in the rumors to star as Members only aficionado Michael Knight.

I’ve always loved Knight rider and I think that as long as they treat it with the proper respect, it could be very good. Personally I’d like to see them to take a ‘Batman begins’ type of approach, but I’m not counting on it.

KNIGHT RIDER

Michael Knight – Hugh Jackman – For years, David Hasselhoff has insisted that he wants to play Michael Knight in the big screen version of Knight rider, but since this will likely be an origin story and not ‘Knight rider: The rehab years’, I’d say The Hoff will have to buy a ticket like everyone else. Hugh Jackman strikes me as someone who can sell the banter between he and the Teamster who feeds him K.I.T.T.’s lines off screen.



Devon Miles – Ian McKellen – For the role of Devin you need a sophisticated old British guy, so why not Wolverine’s nemesis, Magneto?

Do

- Keep the same theme music, though updated and re-recorded
- Use William Daniels as the voice of K.I.T.T.

- Keep the basics (Red light, black car)

Don’t

- Make it ‘The fast and the furious’ but with a talking car
- Make K.I.T.T. a Toyota/Nissan/Mitsubishi etc.
- Fill the soundtrack with hip-hop and emo music
- Give Michael Knight a human side-kick/teen whiz-kid/overly spunky female love interest