Guilty pleasure songs: Hair metal edition

Hair metal. Glam rock. Pop metal. It goes by many names and has many definitions.

I wasn’t into the rock scene as a kid. That kind of music was for kids who wore black concert t-shirts, smoked in the bathroom and worshiped the almighty Satan, Prince of darkness [may he rule forever upon his crimson throne!]. Just kidding.

I had a friend who got into it when we reached our teens and so I absorbed a lot of this by osmosis [lots of ‘Head bangers ball’, much to my dismay]. Today I look back fondly on the “Hair” era as yet another part of those fantastic 80’s and I’ve gained a belated appreciation for some of it’s music.

For those about to rock, we salute you.

Seventeen – Winger

Even I hate me for liking this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZHVkJ1wVFM&feature=related

On a shocking note, I chose ‘Seventeen’ from a list of four potential Winger songs. The others...

Miles away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI10SMxBjMg&feature=related

Can’t get enuff

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xqwcYK3A4c&feature=related

Easy come, easy go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiHTQoyuBkQ&feature=related

Naughty Naughty – Danger Danger

The group's other big hit was called ‘Bang bang’. I believe that I detect a pattern here. I’ve never been to a strip club, but I imagine this is the kind of song they, um, “dance” to there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgvoSwUoaQE

The final countdown – Europe

This song is a musical jetpack!... I don’t even know what that means. It sounded good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZkllM8znx4

Nothin’ But a Good Time – Poison

I’m not even going to try and justify this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMqjGywYOI8

Still of the night – Whitesnake

I’m sorry, but this song rocks. Extra points for playing the guitar like a violin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lqb5EcU65IQ

You give love a bad name – Bon Jovi

I probably could’ve chosen any Bon Jovi song, as they’re all catchy and equally embarrassing... well, maybe not equally. Better ‘You give love a bad name’ than ‘Bed of roses’.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GccfzxHIXaY

Under the radar special!

I’ll see you in my dreams – Giant

This one got brief top 40 radio play in my area when it came out, but then quickly faded away. It’s a shame too because it’s a great song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iug0X6cJDDM
-

Guilty pleasure songs: Boy band edition

Guilty pleasure or total embarrassment? We shall soon see...

A few weeks ago I found out that the 80’s boy band ‘New kids on the block’ were making a comeback. Of course now they’re more like ‘Old dudes on the corner’.

When I was a teenager, ‘NKOTB’ were huge with the girls in my school. Like most guys I publicly stated my hatred for them on a regular basis. Secretly however I actually liked some of their music. I even got my ear pierced because a girl I had a crush on thought it looked good on the ‘New kids’. It didn’t work for this ‘kid’ and I soon took it out.

In the 90’s, after the Grunge and Gansta rap era faded away, boy bands came back in a big way. Again I said I hated them [and this time I meant it], but they made some darn catchy tunes.

The other day a guy I work with was jamming to some syrupy pop tune. I asked him who it was and he said “The Jonas brothers”. I had never heard of them. Anyway, this very masculine and hetero guy proclaimed his love for them without shame. In that regard he’s one step ahead of me. I have much shame and I lay it bare now for you today... Oh girl.
-
Step by step – New Kids on the block

This song was ubiquitous on radio in the Summer of 1990; the Summer I turned 16. The best Summer of my childhood... Yes, there was a girl involved. There's always a girl involved. She broke my heart too. I guess I had the 'Wrong stuff' so she 'Step by stepped' to a football player.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ5eZSa7URA

You got it [The right stuff] - New kids on the block

Somewhere John Glenn is throwing up.
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmz8ygxruoc
-
Ooh it’s kinda crazy – Souldecision

Lesser known group sort of came on at the end of the late 90’s fad. Whole album is pretty solid. Yep, I’ve actually listened to it... and I may have bought it too.
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HutUgdEdtaI
-
Larger than life – Back Street Boys
-
B-cuz I’m larger than life, yo [someone please stop me].
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uewJN__RykY
-
Tearin’ up my heart – 'N Sync
-
I can still remember the embarrassment when I bought this single.
-
Bye bye bye – 'N Sync

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JoJqID-wJY
-
See above.
-
Me + U = Us [Calculus] – 2gether
-
2gether was an MTV comedy show about a fictional boy band. They actually put out a couple of albums and had some success. The show and the music were pretty funny.
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEKWZk16N_w
-
Hardest part of breaking up [Is getting back your stuff] – 2gether
-
Aint it the truth?
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRFS7ktzMWM
-
Bonus!
-
Okay, not technically a boy band but far more embarrassing than all of them combined... I give you Invisible by Clay Aiken.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wcNl7ivwOo

Now, if you'll excuse me I need to go do something manly. I think I'll eat raw meat, watch Rambo and maybe kill something.

Until next time... Bye, bye, bye.

Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; Or how I spent my 34th birthday

I’ve waited most of life for either a ‘Star Wars’ or ‘Indiana Jones’ film to open on my birthday. ‘The Empire strikes back’ [my favorite movie of all time] came closest, May 21st 1980. With ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’ it finally happened.

I’ve been planning this for months. I’d get the cake and presents shenanigans out of the way quickly then head to the theater... alone. I always see these movies [‘Star Wars’, ‘Indy’] alone first. I like to get lost in the movie without any distractions. Needless to say, my friends don’t get it.

Setting the scene

I arrived about 15 minutes before the movie began. I walked in, gave the kid my ticket and started down a hallway toward my theater. About half way there, a middle aged man came out of the ‘Crystal Skull’ theater. He was decked out in full Indy gear. Hat, jacket, the works. I tried to establish eye contact so that I could give him a smile and a thumbs up but he shyly kept his head down. Oh, and he had some device on him that played the ‘Raider’s march’ on a loop. I smiled so hard it hurt.

The theater was only about half full, not surprising given that it was a Thursday and many people are either waiting for the holiday weekend or feared it would be too crowded. There was a applause at the Lucasfilm logo and when the credits came up there was more applause. Not thunderous applause, but applause none the less.

I’ll save you a blow by blow description of what happened in between, and instead will give you a [mostly] spoiler free ‘What worked/what didn’t work’ from my perspective.

What worked

Nostalgia. ‘Crystal Skull’ gets a lot of mileage out of our affinity for the first three films, particularly ‘Raiders’ and ‘Crusade’. It has some new tricks up it’s sleeve, but it doesn’t work without at least some emotional connection to the previous films. It’s the least stand alone of the saga in that regard.

Spalko. Cate Blanchett is icily perfect as the Russian agent in charge of finding the mysterious Crystal Skull. I would rank her as the most dangerous and intriguing villain in the series, but she doesn’t have enough screen time [nor chemistry with Indy] to knock Belloq from the throne of ultimate Indy villain.

The action. It’s all whiz-bang fun and often edge of your seat thrilling [especially the jungle chase scene]. It lacks the weight of ‘Raiders’ and ‘Crusade’ though and thus feels somewhat like empty calories. CGI also becomes a rather cheap crutch used a little too often.

The Crystal Skull(s). They may just be the best “MacGuffin” in the series. That is to say their potential worth to the enemy is quite intriguing. It’s all a little to thinly drawn to eclipse the Ark and the Holy grail though.

Shia Labeouf. The most criticized aspect of the movie prior to it’s release [at least amongst the internet message board crowd] Shia acquits himself quite well. He makes a great foil for the cantankerous Indy.

What didn’t work

The score. Aside from the reprisal of old themes, there’s not much here that’s memorable. John Williams still does busy [but tuneless] action music as well as anyone ever has, but as for the theme for the Crystal Skull, it’s utterly forgettable. Mutt’s theme? If he had one I can’t recall it. The Russians? Generic, menacing stuff. Probably Williams most forgettable "genre" score ever. A real disappointment.

Mac [Ray Winstone]. He’s used too little and is too thinly drawn. His resolution is also rather odd and inconsistent. It's a shame, as there was real potential there.

It’s too jokey. There are some genuinely funny moments in the movie and they all spring naturally from the story. The rest are all gags. Indy in particular is just a little too easy with the one-liners. In those moments I’m reminded of his performance as Han Solo in ‘Return of the Jedi’, which was a caricature of the role he’d created.

The pace. In spite of the big action sequences, it just seems to plod along from clue to clue. While plot driven scenes are necessary, they have to be interesting. The Map room in ‘Raiders’ for instance. There are a lot of those kinds of digging in the dark scenes in ‘Crystal Skull’ but they’re a little too flat.

Indy/Marion. It has to rely totally on our fondness and knowledge of their shared history, because outside of a few moments there’s not much there. Their bickering about past transgressions is a little too sitcom.

The Soviets. The problem is we don’t get to see them enough without Indy around. They just sort of pop up whenever Indy gets on the trail of a clue. It’s not that you need character development with these guys, but they need their own section of turf to chew on.

The finale. There’s so much to dislike here, but not much I can tell you without spoilers. My main problem is that Indy doesn’t get to use his wits, ala ‘Last Crusade’. Instead the group stand around and watch as stuff happens [pointed out in one review I read, and so true].

The bottom line

Simultaneously thrills and bores. Not a bad film, but a disappointment overall. - 6.5/10

(See also my previous blog reviewing the 'Indy' saga)

-

http://overgrownboyscout.blogspot.com/2007/05/summer-movie-franchise-reviews-indiana.html

-

Guilty pleasure songs: 80's movie edition!

Okay, as promised I've categorized this one a bit. The theme is '80's movie guilty pleasure songs'. I hope you're not lactose intolerant, because there's a lot of cheese in here!

*Note* - I scrupulously avoided my beloved "power anthem montage" songs, as I'm unashamed of them and blast them for all to hear as I cruise down the road!

Catch me (I'm falling) - Pretty poison - From the movie 'Hiding out'

Great song from a decent 80's teen flick. You probably won't catch much flak from 30 & 40 somethings if you're caught with this blasting from your stereo, but if teens catch you jamming, you'll have some explaining to do. And just why are you hanging around with teens anyway? Pervert!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RKdpKQxZXtU&feature=related

Dancing in Heaven (Orbital Be bop) - Q-Feel - From the movie 'Girls just want to have fun'

Maybe you can get away with this one if you're female. Guys, forget it. Still, it makes me want to dance... and have fun. Hey, if girls can guys can too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it4Vgh0xOs8

If you leave - OMD (Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark) - From 'Pretty in Pink'

Considering the movie it's from, the embarrassment factor is pretty low with this one. Just don't let anyone catch you watching the movie. (BTW, Duckie rules)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJfKyHR5-1M

Send me an Angel - Real life - From 'Rad', 'The Wizard' probably countless others

Kind of a 'New Wave' classic that's had a long life. You won't get killed for this one, unless a biker gang pulls up along side you. But then again those bikes are loud so maybe they won't hear you. Still, wouldn't hurt to turn it down a notch or five.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFCV7z3elUE

Twist of fate - Olivia Newton John - From 'Two of a kind'

No.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2hawbp5XT4

Walking on sunshine - Katrina and the Waves - From 'The secret of my success'

I've seen grown, middle aged men dancing to this song when it comes on. Time to end the charade, people. We can like this song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eONhto0x_nI

I'm so excited - Pointer Sisters - From 'No way out'

Not unless you're Kevin Costner in a limo. That means you and I roll up our windows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-DcNPFWhbk

Never fear, there are more 80's movie guilty pleasure songs to come!

And I plan on another round of 'Forgotten 80's' as well as a review of 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' [hopefully by late Thursday evening].

Guilty pleasure songs: Part 1

We all have them. I call them 'Roll up the window songs'. You may love 'Only in my dreams' by Debbie Gibson [and God knows I do, honey!] but do you really want that minivan full of little leaguers in the next lane to know that?

Here's part one of my list of "Guilty pleasure" songs. So roll up those windows and crank up your radios.

Pour some sugar on me – Def Leppard

I’m not ashamed to admit that I like Def Leppard. They probably have the catchiest catalog of pop rock singles out there. That having been said, ‘Pour some sugar on me’ has basically become the National anthem of strippers and drunk middle age barflies. And while I appreciate the assets of the former and the desperation of the latter, I don’t necessarily want to be associated with either. So when this one comes on, the windows go up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSaAXDBvfho

Working for the weekend – Loverboy

Cowbell. Tight red leather pants. Sounds like a party at Christopher Walken’s place or the ubiquitous Friday after work song ‘Working for the weekend’. There isn’t a town in North America where this song isn’t played during Friday rush hour. Just look around you. Over there. See the 40 year old guy in the Kia with the windows rolled up? The one bobbing his head. Oh yeah. He’s working for the weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo9QlZufBAc

Father figure – George Michael

This one speaks for itself doesn’t it folks?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb8QaxDs0AY

Physical – Olivia Newton John

Again. I mean, seriously. Yeah. I know. I know. She was hot though, wasn't she?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQXECBdPgEA

Chains of love – Erasure

I’m straight believe it or not. I am! Stop looking at me like that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_o6dd_1ulw

Almost unreal – Roxette

If you read my knee slappingly hi-larious blog ‘Stupor Mario Brothers’ then you probably recall me mentioning this song before. What can I say, it does it’s hocus-pocus to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaoQEFAl9fE

Hungry eyes – Eric Carmen

Nobody puts Baby in a corner! Oops, sorry. Channeling my inner Swayze there for a second. I’m sorry, I make no apologies for this one. I’m embarrassed by it, but I make no apologies. This song gets me in the mood. [Too much information alert, Will Robinson!].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oKUTOLSeMM

Sacred emotion – Donny Osmond

A great song from the stormin' Mormon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bexYEMC_ySY

Okay, that's enough embarrassment for one day

Forgotten 80's: Captain Power and the Soldiers of the future

"Power on!"
-

-

Thus began each episode of 'Captain Power and the Soldiers of the future'. The show is primarily remembered, if at all, for being "interactive". At a point during the show, kids could [theoretically] get involved by shooting at the screen. I say theoretically because I don't remember it working that well. Anyway, that failed gimmick doesn't take away from what was a cool toy line and an awesome TV series.

-

What set 'Captain Power' apart from so many live-action shows of it's kind, past and present, is that it was rather serious and violent [relatively speaking of course. It wasn't Terminator or anything]. It never reached the level of camp that you sometimes see on 'Power Rangers' and other shows of it's type. Sure it's plot wasn't exactly original what with it's post apocalyptic future, tyrants and 'Metal Wars', but it was well told and had very high produciton values.

The real legacy from the 'Metal wars'

The toy line was good, interactive gimmick aside. It's sort of reminiscent of 'Centurions' stylistically. Sadly when a show and a toy line go hand in hand when one dies, so too does the other. There was a second Wave of figures, but as with many final waves it's a bit on the scarce side.

-

Today 'Captain Power' lives on in the hearts and minds of a few die hard fans. For the rest, he's often confused with green mulleted environmentalist 'Captain Planet'. The show is not currently available on DVD and there seem to be no immediate plans to release it. As with many shows, you can watch it on youtube. If it's been a while, you might want to give it a look. "Power on!".

-

Useful links

-
Opening

-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M678PVOf5F0

-

Fan site

-

http://www.captainpower.com/

-

Forgotten 80’s: Robo Force

My friend, Jason, who lived next door to me when we were kids, was the patron saint of short-lived toy lines. While the rest of us had ‘Star Wars’, ‘Masters of the Universe’ and ‘G.I. Joe’ he would come home with stuff like ‘The other world’, which he claimed was going to be the next great toy line. It wasn’t.


Another toy line he was into was the little remembered ‘Robo Force’. He was certain it was going to take off big. It didn’t. That’s too bad too because it had the makings of an awesome series. Unfortunately a little phenomenon called ‘Transformers’ came out that same year and seemed to steal it’s robo-thunder.

As you can see, Maxx wasn't too happy about Robo Force's short run

Humans? We don’t need no stinking humans! Robo Force was all about the robots. It pitted the forces of Maxx Steel ‘The Leader’ VS Hund-Dred ‘The Conqueror’ [Not to be confused with his cousin, Kull]. The line was pretty extensive for one so short lived. It included 10 figures, two vehicles, a play set as well other tie-in merchandise like phones, lunch boxes and bed sheets. Somebody over at Ideal thought this was going to be huge and that somebody probably lives under a bridge these days, sleeping under urine stained Robo Force sheets.

Unlike many 80’s toy lines, Robo Force never had a weekly cartoon series. It did however have a one shot animated “movie” special that aired only once and has not had an official home video release.

I have no memory of the cartoon myself. I did break down and buy [or should I say my parents broke down and bought me] some of the figures. I recall sticking them to the side of our refrigerator. That’s about it for the warm fuzzy memories, folks.

Today Robo Force sits on the trash heap with so many other ‘What coulda beens’ like ‘Sectaurs’, ‘Centurions’, ‘Visionaries’ and ‘Sky Commanders’. At least they’re in good company.

Useful links

A Robo Force fan page with info on the toy line

http://www.i-mockery.com/roboforce/

An original commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7fxNmxif74

Disturbing info alert!: I learned while doing research for this that Maxx Steele is also the name of an adult film actor. Just a friendly warning for those who may have plans to do an image search. You have been warned.